building a future where we CAN hear you scream

BASSFACESPACE

Casually looking for the cure

the disease

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Science

Drop'n

Urban Dictionary defines Bass Face as:

Facial contortions of a bass player involving mouth twisting to the groove, chin dropping impossibly low, brow furrowing, a seemingly blank stare and a general unawareness of the condition. Also often accompanies Egyptian-style head gyrations.

On average one in ten pictures of bass players feature hilarious facial gymnastics. An explosion of technology is allowing us to capture more images than at any time in our history. This has led to a new epidemic that is threatening to turn something what was once a thriving ecosystem of inside jokes between musicians into a boring cliche. Here at BassFaceSpace.org we don't think that is anything to laugh about. So in order to save the curled lips, and bulging eyeballs we love so well we must destroy some of it.

You may be asking "Why destroy Bass Face when clearly it's the technology that's the problem?" Well, you must be a bass player because that was a very intelligent question, but ripping peoples cameras, Go'sPro, smart phones, dumb phones, smart watches, smart glasses, smart cars, iTies, SLR's, DSLR's etc out of their hand and smashing it in front of them would get you arrested. Do not do that. Instead we have set out to find a cure for the condition itself. With your help we can defeat this beautiful convergence of force, face, and frequency.

ONE IN TEN...

This is Este and she suffers from Severe Bass Face (SBF)

Este has two sisters who are also musicians. Neither of them have ever suffered from this disease. It is not believed to be heriditary and seemingly stikes only bass players completely randomly. Often times Bass Face is misdiagnosed as siimple constitpation and can go untreated for years.

DRUGS, PROBABLY

Let's just get this out in the open; No one at BassFaceSpace.org has any scientific or medical training of any kind. However, we are pretty sure that most of the time when people cure something it involves really expensvie drugs. We want a piece of that action. If those drugs end up causing Drummer Elbow or Sax Cancer it will be a small price to pay. Through our research foundations and various off-shore tax havens, one day children will be able to bring the funk without fear of becoming a meme.

Confusing Chart

If you know what any of this means please let us know.

Show Your Support

Considering the scope of the problem there's not much you can do as an individual. We get it, you're a loner, but this is too important to worry about your fragile messed up ego. BassFaceSpace.org is dedicated to pooling your resources, both financial and monetary, and using the legally mandated minum percentage of it to fight this disease on a large scale. You can rest assured that your donation has been spent wisely and only on quality, craft beers.

"Some days I wake up and the pain is so unbarable that I cannot even play bass"

-Este Haim

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